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How Does Memory Work Antonio Damasio

A few years ago I was lucky enough to attend a colloquium about Myth, Wagner and the Human Brain. The event was a conversation among friends, the acclaimed theater and opera director Peter Sellars, world-renowned visual artist Bill Viola, and Antonio Damasio, Director of the USC Brain and Creativity Institute and author of Descartes’ Error, Emotion Reason and the Human Brain.  Dr. Damasio began by explaining how the mind, brain and body create memory.  It turns out that human memory is a very creative and complex activity. Here are some of my notes.

1. Memory is uniquely human. While it could be said that most living organisms demonstrate memory in terms of learned behaviors, the human ability to think about ourselves as individuals in relationship to others – and especially the ability to imagine what the other person is feeling or thinking – is a very complicated and uniquely human form of memory.

2. Memory is a holistic creative act.
Your mind is not like a video camera objectively recording everything you experience. According to Dr. Damasio, memory is a sensory-motor cognitive reconstruction that involves many parts of the brain and body.

3. Memory is mythical. Here I am using “myth” in the best sense of the word: the ancestral stories handed down through time that hold truth even though they may never have actually happened.  Bill Viola compared myth to the form you fill out at the Department of Motor Vehicles.  The  lines or boxes where you record certain information are similar to the archetypal patterns that underpin our memories. Myth gives us building blocks so we can tell ourselves our own stories. Our stories need a beginning, middle and end.  We want to know who are the good guys.  Who are the bad guys? What is my role? What does this all mean? In some way, every life is a “tale as old as time.”  And yet, neither the form nor the content tells the whole tale.

4.  Memory is not fixed. There is a popular idea that memories are like files stored in our “memory bank” filing cabinet that resides in a particular region of the brain.  According to Dr. Dimasio this is not the way it happens.  Memories are dynamic, holographic and subjective. The files change over time. And this is a good thing.  Each time you remember someone or something, you have an opportunity to reflect, re-cognize and learn something new.

5. Memory is subjective and relational. Your point of view is often shaped by past memories.  For example, what memories does Memorial Day evoke for you? Do you think of road trips, barbecues, beer and the first days of summer?  Or is it an emotional day when you remember a fallen comrade or relative who died in battle?

6. Memory is interpretive.
You have a memory of what happened but  you also have a memory of the meaning you assigned to it.  Your interpretation may change over time.  It may also be dramatically different than someone else’s interpretation of exactly the same event.

7. Memory is contextual. Peter Sellars said something that really struck a chord for me.  “You know when things are going good in your life, not much happens. But when things go bad, that’s when important things happen.  When things go bad, you have no choice but to dive deep and tap resources you didn’t even know you had.” We like to label our memories as “good”or “bad.”  What would change if you were to redefine some of your “bad” memories as the times you learned something important.

We are mythic beings living in mythic times. In the US Memorial Day is a holiday to enjoy as well as an opportunity to reflect on the memory of people who have given their lives in service. Whether or not we knew them personally, and regardless of politics, it’s good to remember that there’s a mythic story at the heart of each human life, perhaps especially the life of a soldier.

I saw a touching story on CNN today. Two adult siblings discovered a poem their deceased father had written about having to kill a German soldier during World War II. He had never mentioned the incident to his family so the poem was a surprise. It changed and enriched how they remember their father.  The poem – itself an act of memory – has changed me too. The author’s name was Sgt. James Lenihan.  Towards the end of Lenihan’s life, he actively sought out his old war buddies and described his time serving as one of the “worst and greatest experiences” of his life. You can read his poem here.

Perhaps it’s not so much that we remember our lives, but how we remember them… and hopefully learn.

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No matter how bad things are going, there is usually something small you can find to be grateful for.

When I was in my early 20’s I often suffered from depression. I remember a dark time when nothing seemed to be going right. It was a gloomy day and my mood matched the weather.  I was out of money, my relationship wasn’t going well, and my self-esteem was suffering because I was sure I was too fat. (I wasn’t.) A typical student, I was living on coffee, eating poorly and not getting enough rest, none of which helped my mood.

I was a sophomore at UCLA, a great school, but a big and very impersonal campus with more than 30,000 students. Feeling lost and anonymous, I had just finished sitting through yet another lecture in a class with 200 other students, none of whom I knew. Young and discouraged, I couldn’t imagine anything ever getting better. As I walked to my car I kept thinking, “What’s the point?”  It’s difficult for me to admit this today, but in that moment I couldn’t see much reason to keep on living. The fact that I didn’t have the courage to do myself in became just one more reason to be depressed. I was completely pathetic. I collapsed into the front seat of my old clunker car and I began to sob.

Then something miraculous happened. Through my tears my attention was arrested by the sudden appearance of  hundreds of tiny rainbows shining all around me. I was fascinated. I’d forgotten I was wearing a t-shirt with a few rhinestones. The sun had broken through the clouds and happened to shine on my shirt at just the right angle to transform the fake jewels into mini-prisms. Vivid colors were dancing everywhere around the dark interior of the car.  Suddenly I was like a 5-year-old experiencing her first rainbow and it was delightful.  So beautiful!  Rainbows!  Appreciating the beauty of the rainbows had broken through the spell of gloom and doom. Rainbows were the reason to live.  No matter what else was going on, I could still appreciate the beauty of a rainbow and that was enough.  In fact it was quite a lot.

I didn’t know it then, but I had just experienced the amazing power of Micro-Gratitude. You see, gratitude and depression are incompatible. You literally can’t feel them at the same time. Whenever you experience appreciation or gratitude you actually change your biochemistry.  Gratitude initiates a cascade of chemicals washing through your brain and body. Chemicals that are good for you, and not just for your mood but for your health.

Micro-Gratitude, How to Feel Better Instantly

As you may have noticed, it isn’t always easy to feel thankful. That’s where Micro-Gratitude comes to the rescue.  No matter how bad things are going, there is usually something small you can find to be grateful for. Try it right now. See if you can find the most humble, ordinary thing to appreciate and focus on that for a moment.

Yes, right now.  I’ll wait.

Gratitude is more than a thought, it’s a physical experience.

It’s easy to forget that gratitude isn’t just a thought.  It’s a physical feeling. I invite you to take the next few seconds and instead of just thinking you are grateful, really feel the appreciation for those small things you notice. For me this usually feels like “something” moves out of my head and into my heart creating a warm feeling in my chest. Sometimes it helps to close my eyes and to take a few deep breaths.  Try it yourself and notice the physical changes in the way you feel.

Make Micro-Gratitude a practice.

You can even have fun with it.  Have a Micro-Gratitude Party every Thursday on social media. Invite people to share their Micro-Gratitudes. The challenge is to find the tiniest most humble things to appreciate.  I sometimes run a Micro-Gratitude contest on Facebook. Past entries have included dirt (think about it), hot running water, and toilet paper. Sometimes we have a theme.  Blue. Liquid. Invisible.

Please join my Micro-Gratitude Movement

Become an Ambassador from the State of Gratitude. You can begin right now by posting a comment about the small things you are able to appreciate in this moment.  If you do, I will be very thankful.

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Mind Hack Your Story Change Your Life
Are Your Stories Limiting You?

Let’s play a little free association game. Quickly complete the following:

“Mistakes mean _________________”
“Exercise is _____________________”
“Money is ______________________”

If you’re like most people, as soon as you think of almost any subject, you will have an instant response based on past experiences, family history, what you’ve heard, or cultural conditioning. You have a ready-to-go opinion or feeling based on a story you have been telling yourself. Everyone has a collection of unconscious stories that form what I like to call your Personal Storybook.

Is Your Story the Only Possibility?

Think about dogs for a minute. Do you feel love? Fear? Sadness? Neutral? If you haven’t had much interaction with dogs, you won’t have a very big chapter on dogs in your storybook. However if you had a beloved pet dog as a child, you may have several chapters – some happy, some sad. What kind of story would would we find in the personal storybook of someone who’s been scared or bitten by a dog? Each person will have a personal point of view, but which one is the real truth about dogs?

The human mind is wired to build stories out of past experiences to help you survive. This ability is useful in many ways, but more often than not it fosters unnecessary limitation. Here’s the problem: We don’t experience our stories as stories; we experience our stories as “the way things ARE.”

You Have a Choice

So let’s get back to the questions at the top of the page. Are the stories you are telling yourself about mistakes, exercise or money helpful or limiting? Consider the different choices available when you compare the following stories:

“Mistakes mean I’ve failed.”
“Mistakes mean I’ve learned.”
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. ~ Albert Einstein

“Exercise is exhausting.”
“Exercise is fun.”
Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person’s physical, emotional, and mental states.  ~ Carol Welch

“Money is the root of all evil.”
“Money is freedom.”
Money is a form of energy that tends to make us more of who we already are, whether it’s greedy or loving. ~ Dan Millman

4 Steps to Life-Changing Stories

Step 1: Realize Your Stories Are Not Necessarily the Truth

No matter how much it seems like your story is “just the way it is”, your feelings and opinions are not facts. They are simply your personal points of view based on – and limited by – past information or experience.

Step 2: Let Go of Limiting Stories

This can be a tough one. Why? Because we are often very identified with our most limiting stories. We may even have formed bonds with others around some of our stories and it can feel threatening to leave the fold, even if for greener pastures. Find role models who have re-invented themselves by leaving limiting stories behind. Let their examples inspire you and be sure to surround yourself with people who will support your new story.

Surround yourself with positive people. To me, having a career is about being able to go to work every day without it feeling like work, because you love it so much. ~ Queen Latifah

Step 3: Choose a New Story

Create a more self-empowering story. The simplest way to do this is simply to turn the limiting story around. For example, if you feel you are too old to try something new, change your story to “it’s never too late” or “age is just a state of mind.” Usually you can find plenty of evidence for a different point of view once you release your old story. Instead of worrying about what might happen, choose to use your imagination in more positive ways. Whenever you talk about yourself or your life, reinforce your new point of view by using self-empowering language.

Step 4: Shift Your Focus

Practice shifting your focus from problems (limiting stories) to those things you would love to create (empowering stories). What you focus on tends to grow stronger. Whenever you notice yourself caught up in a self-limiting feeling or opinion, remind yourself “that’s not the truth, it’s just a story” and turn your attention to a better thought.

Is there something you want that you’ve been telling yourself you can’t do? Is that the Truth? Or is it just a story? Notice what happens when you tell yourself, “If I really want this, I can do it!” If there are objecting inner voices, investigate them. Are they the Truth or just more limiting stories?

Sometimes telling yourself that you actually can do something may lead you to realize it isn’t something you really want to do after all. Maybe it’s something you only thought you should do but your heart isn’t in it. The story of “I can’t” can become a convenient excuse. Instead of perpetuating the limiting story of “I can’t”, your new story allows you to make an empowered choice by saying, “I could if I wanted to, but I’ll pass.”

Increase Your Personal Power

The most powerful changes happen when you transform the limiting stories you are telling yourself about YOU. Make a list of at least 10 adjectives describing yourself and count how many negatives and positives. If you don’t have a majority of positives it’s time to hack your Personal Storybook.

You can increase your personal power by changing your story in any area of life where you are experiencing limitation.

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