Thought Medicine

The Little Voice in Your Head – Friend or Foe?

by Linda Gabriel

in Perception, Self-Talk

“The thoughts that are expressed by The Little Voice are habitual, often irrational and certainly unexamined.”

Have you ever noticed “The Little Voice” inside your mind?

To be clear, I don’t mean the whisper of intuition, although sometimes The Little Voice would like you to believe that’s what it is. No, I mean The Little Voice that sounds something like a TV voice-over providing a running commentary of opinions, beliefs, and judgments about your experiences, other people, and especially about yourself. It judges what’s good, bad, acceptable, unacceptable, believable, or ridiculous. The Little Voice often determines what you are willing to accept and especially about what you decide to reject.

How useful is The Little Voice?

While it’s certainly useful to know what you like and don’t like – Chocolate? Yes! Licorice? No! – too often The Little Voice is a powerful inner critic that obstructs your ability to experience love, joy and success. The Little Voice keeps a significant portion of your attention focused in the past or future thus distracting your mind from the ability to actually enjoy the present moment.

The thoughts that are expressed by The Little Voice are habitual, often irrational and certainly unexamined. The Little Voice is really just a collection of automatic patterns of thought which eventually become filters through which you perceive reality – filters which tend to limit rather than empower. However, you don’t experience your filters as filters, you experience them as reality! Even more insidious, you tend to experience your filters as the real you.

You are not your filters

Let me assure you, you are not your filters. Buddhists call this inner voice “the monkey mind” because it’s always chattering and busy. Meditation is an ancient practice that helps quiet The Little Voice. In that silence, you have the opportunity to experience your identity separately from The Little Voice. Some call this moment of realization “enlightenment.”

The purpose of The Little Voice.

The Little Voice tries to provide you with a sense of security by trying to keep you safe and comfortable within the status quo. If reality changes too drastically, The Little Voice is there to sound the danger signal. It will just say no and want you to step on the brakes. The Little Voice would rather not change its opinions, thank you very much. The thing The Little Voice loves most of all? Being right. Right is safe. Right is secure. This is why some people would rather be right than happy, successful, forgiving, or free. Or even alive. Being “right” is an illusion.

The Little Voice + Fear = BFF’s

When threatened, The Little Voice is not above recruiting a few anxiety attacks. It wants things to stay the same and knows that fear freezes flow. It will call on subconscious fears so you won’t even know why you are afraid to move forward in your life even when you have a strong conscious desire to do so. I encourage you stop letting The Little Voice discourage you from trying new ideas. The Little Voice is very skilled at pretending it’s the voice of knowledge or wisdom when it’s really just another opinion.

Suggestions for dealing with The Little Voice

1. Notice – The first step is to simply become consciously aware of The Little Voice and notice what it’s saying.

2. Identify – Reclaim your power. Remember that The Little Voice is not who you really are.

3. Evaluate – Most of The Little Voice’s beliefs were acquired in childhood and may not have been updated in a long, long time. Determine whether The Little Voice is helpful in any given situation. If it is, great! But if it isn’t say, “Thank you for sharing,” and do what the real you knows is best.

4. Meditate – One of the best ways to quiet The Little Voice, and discover who you really are, is to take some time every day to quiet your mind. Basic meditation is not difficult or complicated. Sit in a comfortable position on the floor, or in a chair, and simply focus your awareness on your breath, or repeat a silent mantra such as “Peace” for 5 to 10 minutes. When your mind wanders, which it will, gently bring it back to your breath or mantra.

5. Retrain – Teach The Little Voice some new ways to be “right.” Train it to have positive automatic thoughts by using affirmations, guided visualization and hypnosis. For example, if The Little Voice reminds you, “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” automatically replace that thought with an affirmation such as, “Money is created by human energy and imagination, which is infinite.”

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The Problem With Problems

by Linda Gabriel

in Motivation, Perception

“The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown.” ~ Carl Jung

Most of us believe that if we have problems, there must be something terribly wrong, if not with the problematic person or situation, then perhaps with life in general. Or maybe we think the reason we have problems is because we’re hopelessly flawed. It must be something in our past, maybe family patterns. To make matters worse, nearly everyone harbors a dearly-held belief that “if only” I had that person, that job, fame, respect, money, love, (fill in the blank) – if only things were different, if only I were different – then things would be great. I wouldn’t have any more problems.

A Question:

Think of someone you admire. Someone like Martin Luther King Jr. or Mother Teresa. Perhaps Nelson Mandela or Gandhi come to mind. Maybe it’s someone you know personally. Now ask yourself, do you think this person ever had problems?

Uh huh. I thought so.

Do you suppose the reason we admire such people is because of their courage in the face of serious challenges?

Unlike most of us, instead of avoiding problems, the people we tend to admire walked right toward them. And not just little ones either. They took on big problems like racism, imperialism, and providing loving care for the poor and dying. The scientists who developed the space program had lots of problems, as did Edison struggling to invent the electric light bulb. So do mothers, fathers, husbands and wives, teachers, and heroic people from every walk of life. Anybody who ever created anything worthwhile did so by embracing problems, not by running away from them. Once you understand this, you’ll agree that having problems isn’t the problem. The problem with problems is our resistance toward ever having them.

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.” ~ Mohandas Gandhi

I’m going to let you in on three big little secrets about problems:

Secret #1:
There is no situation in life that’s problem-free.

The first time I realized this it was very freeing. I was shocked, both at the truth of it but even more at how long I had labored under the infantile wish to reach the “promised land of no problems.” To be honest I still sometimes dream of that promised land, but I no longer believe in it. Nor do I believe it would truly be desirable even if I could have it. Here’s why…

Secret #2:
**The problem with most problems is that they aren’t very interesting.**

I’m not saying your problems are trivial, but compared to most people, icons like Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa and Gandhi took on some very complex and interesting problems. You’ve probably heard the cliche about how the Chinese character for “crisis” also means “opportunity.” It’s true. If you want an interesting life, take on some interesting problems. They don’t have to be big ones, or even important ones. Just interesting ones.

Want some inspiration? Check out Chris Guillebeau’s self-challenge to visit every country in the world within the next 2 years. Oh, and he’s just thrown in a 50 state book tour of the US just to make it interesting. Read Leo Babauta’s story over at zenhabits.net. Check out what Tammy & Logan are up to over at RowdyKittens where you can learn how to live without a car. Or how Far Beyond the Stars’ Everett Bogue is building a thriving business and lives an excellent life with only 100 possessions. Imagine that!

Secret #3:
When you stop wasting energy on trying to avoid problems, you’ll automatically feel better.

In fact you’ll free up tons of energy to deal with interesting problems you choose to embrace. When you understand that problems are a normal part of living, you’ll be far less likely to mope around and may start enjoying the tasks at hand, even when they are difficult. You might even learn to smile in the face of adversity. That in itself would be a contribution to the greater good.

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” ~ Mother Teresa

Problems help move us forward

I enjoy looking up the original meanings of words. I find it interesting that the word “problem” is derived from the Greek, meaning literally “something thrown forward.” Maybe the Greeks meant to indicate an obstacle, but I prefer to believe they knew that problems are the force that throws us forward. Instead of holding us back, our problems are designed to help us grow. I really like that idea.

Here are the modern definitions of “problem” according to Webster:

1.a. a question raised for inquiry, consideration, or solution
1. b. a proposition in mathematics or physics stating something to be done (italics mine)
2. a. an intricate, unsettled question
2. b. a source of perplexity or vexation (This is my least favorite, so I’m glad it’s last.)
Synonym see MYSTERY.

I love that it says the synonym for problem is mystery.

The dictionary doesn’t get much better than that.

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Tagged as: Happiness, Motivation, Myth

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For Our World, a poem written on 9/11 by Mattie Stepanek

by Linda Gabriel

in Consciousness

For Our World

We need to stop.
Just stop.
Stop for a moment.
Before anybody
Says or does anything
That may hurt anyone else.
We need to be silent.
Just silent.
Silent for a moment.
Before we forever lose
The blessing of songs
That grow in our hearts.
We need to notice.
Just notice.
Notice for a moment.
Before the future slips away
Into ashes and dust of humility.
Stop, be silent, and notice.
In so many ways, we are the same.
Our differences are unique treasures.
We have, we are, a mosaic of gifts
To nurture, to offer, to accept.
We need to be.
Just be.
Be for a moment.
Kind and gentle, innocent and trusting,
Like children and lambs,
Never judging or vengeful
Like the judging and vengeful.
And now, let us pray,
Differently, yet together,
Before there is no earth, no life,
No chance for peace.

September 11, 2001

Mattie Stepanek was 11 years old when he wrote this poem on the day of 9-11.
Sadly he passed away in 2004 after a long battle with Dysautonomic Mitochondrial Myopathy.
You can learn more about his brief, amazing, inspiring life at his website:

http://www.mattieonline.com/

Mattie’s books are available on Amazon.

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